kayliesaurusrex:

gambleorcs:

I was trying to explain to my grandma what being bisexual meant and saying that I looked at ladies butts and she was all
"You’re not GAY everyone checks out ladies rear ends" and my sister was like "I have never wanted to look at a ladies butt"
Later my grandma called me and was like “I THINK I MIGHT BE A LITTLE GAY”

BEST GRANDMA STORY

youngstero:

my mom went to high school with jamie lee curtis and one time they both got caught smoking pot together and jamie told the teacher it was my mom’s and my mom was suspended and jamie lee got no punishment so think about that next time you want some activia

the laxative yogurt lady fucked over my mom

dutchster:

Rashida Jones and I have a game: We decide for three months how we’re going to dress, like Japanese Executive, Little House on the Prairie, Female Sailor on Leave. A couple of months ago, our look was Eighties Art Dealer: Black blazers with shoulder pads, high-waisted jeans, air-dried hair and big eyebrows.

Rashida Jones and I have a game: We decide for three months how we’re going to dress, like Japanese Executive, Little House on the Prairie, Female Sailor on Leave. A couple of months ago, our look was Eighties Art Dealer: Black blazers with shoulder pads, high-waisted jeans, air-dried hair and big eyebrows.

Seth Meyers in GQ Magazine (August 2014)

I think my two triggers are people talking about their acne and also people spoiling TV shows, no matter how small the detail

splitsider:

Darrell Hammond Is Officially the New SNL Announcer

zacmof:

serenadethepassengers:

sadbutcomfy:

yandereblues:

ceasepool:

spermphoenixfilms:

STILL fucked up.

oh my fuck

HOLY SHIT

NO

What the fuck.

This is one of my favorite videos on the internet